© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

We have all heard the directive to “love your neighbor as yourself.”  It occurs in some paraphrase in each of the ten major spiritual traditions and religions of the world.  So, there must be something to it, right?

So, what is this kind of love?  Love in the spiritual sense is not something far-off and removed from us. It isn’t anything that can come to us. It is already a part of who we are, already well-established within us.  AND, it is universal and impersonal.  This wonderful love can pour out from us in abundance because we have a never-ending supply.

Now, that might seem contradictory to the evidence in your reality.  What about those people who seem to complain about everything and everybody?  Where’s that never-ending pouring of love through them?  Just because it’s available doesn’t mean folks avail themselves of it.  The electricity is always just waiting at the switch for you to turn it on, but some folks just like to sit in the dark.  Enough said.

Where does all this wonder, light and joy come from? In my opinion–and, that’s all I can offer you here after fifty years of study and practice, our receptivity to the understanding that God is Love, and God and man are one, leads me to the evitable conclusion that there is no way to love God without some of that love flowing out to our neighbor…all the time.  It’s flow!

Who are our neighbors?  Just the folks next door, in the next room or in the next town?  I think it’s important for each of us to think this through.  It sounds simple, but is it?  Is it literal, or, is there more?

So, who is this neighbor?  This may be a bit much to take in, but, I’m going to suggest that anything of which we can become aware is our neighbor, no matter whether it is a person, animal, place, or thing.  One of my favorite writers, Joel S. Goldsmith, wrote:

“Every idea in consciousness is a neighbor. …When we see God as the cause and our neighbor as that which is in and of God, then we are loving our neighbor, whether that neighbor appears as a friend, relative, enemy, animal, flower or stone. In such loving, which understands all neighbors to be of God,…we find that every idea in consciousness takes its rightful place. Those neighbors who are a part of our experience find their way to us and those who are not are removed. Let us resolve loving our neighbor into a spiritual activity, beholding love as the substance of all that is, no matter what the form may be.”   Practicing the Presence, p. 66

The good news about these ideas is that each of us now can simply be loving, no matter what the experience, conditions or circumstances. We do not have to think about it. We simply choose to be loving in all cases.

When I wrote Wrestling Rhinos: Conquering Conflict in the Wilds of Work, I did so because skills of communication, conflict and anger management and negotiation are essential to peace and productivity.  The same is true in the home and family, in fact, everywhere.  We find “our neighbors” everywhere, too.  Sometimes it is tough to be grateful for the many opportunities we get in a day–or a family–to choose to be loving.  That’s why I made it my mission when I created the Optimize Institute to teach people to communicate in ways that are totally kind and totally honest at the same time.  Doing that is loving.

I invite you to reflect on the neighbors in your life and how you can express love in your interactions.  I’m going to pet my dog, Mystery, for a bit…because I love him.

Great joy, much love & the recognition of the abundance that surrounds you always.
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Coach. Counselor. Catalyst.
…leading you to the life, love & livehood that fulfills you & serves the life of the world
www.SoulWiseWays.com
http://rhoberta.com

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©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Is that heresy to say that there is no such thing as balance? Some would scream so…but, they may be just a little reactive.  So, just to put “them” at rest, let me say right off that top that balance is a good idea. But….

We can only hold onto it for a few moments.  The truth is we are never balanced, or even, in balance. What there is, if we are realistic and understanding that perfection will always elude us, is balancing.  We are always balancing. It is a dynamic process, not static. It’s a journey, not a destination. You get the picture.

Wanting to pay attention to creating a balanced life is absolutely admirable. I hope every one of us has that as a top priority. We spend quite a bit of time in our book, Soul Solitude: Taking Time for Our Souls to Catch Up, talking about the nine arenas of attention in life that need consideration in order to approach a sense of feeling balanced…even for a short while. So, although it might have sounded initially like heresy, I hope you’re breathing easier now!

As a psychologist and a seminar and keynote presenter for more than twenty-five years, I can say with some confidence that the one thing that many women do not give themselves is their own attention. They are so busy taking care of others–or, at least, the feelings and opinions of others–that they put themselves at the bottom of their list.  And, I’ll also tell you, that although they ‘fess us to that being true during the class, most have sunk to the bottom of their lists in a week or less following the seminar, too.  It’s a VERY bad habit, not according yourself the same time and attention you offer others in life. I’ve known women who speak to the checkout person in the supermarket better, with more care, consideration and thoughtfulness, than they speak to themselves internally!

So, balancing….how are you doing?  Would you share a tip or two that keep you on an even keel? Just offer them in the comments area below this blog entry.

To Your Success!
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Coach. Counselor. Catalyst.
…leading you to the life & livelihood that fulfills you & serves the life of the world

http://ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com
http://SoulWiseWays.com

If you’d like to send me an email directly, do so:  RS@SoulWiseWays.com

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