©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
www.SoulWiseWays.com

Have you ever seen a person so caught up in their spiritual that they seem to be a little odd, a little tipped? That happens sometimes when a person cannot seem to live effectively in the world, meeting his or her human responsibilities while retaining that inner area of consciousness open to spiritual impuluse. They seem to unable to maintain the spiritual balance of living in the world without being swept up in the world.

So, it’s a question for us to consider:  to what extent can we stay in the marketplace, surrounded by competition, struggle, strife and jealousy that sometimes characterizes business or work, and yet maintain an awareness of that Power and Presence that is unknown to the material world?

That take spiritual balance: the ability to maintain both your spiritual awareness and be effective in the world without veering to one side or the other, blending the two into one harmonious whole.  To do this, we cannot give our whole day over to worldly pursuits, but neither do we give our whole day to meditation.  Yes, we meditation frequently for a minute or two to maintain an awareness of the Presence and our best direction.  Then, we go out and live this awareness by meeting the daily challenges and opportunities the world provides. It is possible to be “in the world but not of the world” as it says in the Bible. And, it requires spiritual balance.

The mystical way is one of intense inner stilness in the midst of incredible outer activity. It calls for a nonattachment to ther things and persons of the world. Not the kind, though, that creates that “crackpot” way of being in the world! Not floating in a vacuum with no base on which to rest. Some attachment is necessary, and it is found only in the Spiritu within which becomes our anchor.  Knowing that we are inseparable and divisibile from Spirit, we can be less and less atttached to the constantly shifting changing picture of the human world.

It is not a good idea for anyone to attempt to live beyond his or her attained state of consciousness. We know we are not at the stage of walking on water, so, we wisely take a boat! We cannot let our egos push us to try to walk on water. That is true folly.

Every difficulty we face is, in some ways, a matter of imbalance. If we begin our journey on the Path by remembering the importance of spiritual balance, keeping our perspective with the vision always before us, with our heads in the clouds and our feet firmly planted on the earth, we can keep our spiritual balance and achieve our goals.

Many blessings,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Coach. Counselor. Catalyst.
…providing you with success solutions for life, love & livelihood

www.Rhoberta.com

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©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
www.SoulWiseWays.com

What is an even balance?  And, is it achievable?  Big questions. I think we are always balancing rather than actually achieving balance for very many minutes…or seconds. That said, though, coming to that state of balance, equilibrium and joy is the important concept. How long we can sustain it is up to us!

Fear is the climate in which most folks live today.  Even when they do achieve some sense of balance– joy, love, safety, understanding, peace, joy, they then become fearful of losing it. Snap! It’s gone.  That feeling of contentment and security seems so elusive. Could it be because we look for it in the all the wrong places?

If we look for good outside ourselves and put our faith and trust in persons or things, we are on shaky ground already. If we are dependent on other people and material possessions, it is a false reliance that usually fails in the end. When we rely on what we can see and touch, we are likely going to find that sense of peace very infrequently. And, furthermore, if we think that momentary joy came from what we see and touch, we’ll waste our time trying to repeat the experience that way. Not so good, I’ve found.

This is worth thinking about: if we believe in the visible, the things we can see and touch, they are by nature limited. Then, we begin to be concerned about “getting our share” which leads us to scarcity thinking. If what we can grab is what is real, then we have a big problem. It has to be shared by all the people in the world, so, if I can get more, you have to have less. No wonder we have a fear problem!  And, think what this does to countries, too.

Our enduring values cannot be found in material things or in other people. We can only find enduring values in that which is beyond the visible, that which is already an integral part of our being, God within.

Surely there is something better than engaging in the everyday struggle and strife, and the multitude of conversations about it. That’s why we spent considerable time in our book, Soul Solitude: Taking Time for Our Souls to Catch Up, shedding some light on our culture’s addiction to drama. Just think of TV news and you’ll see it larger than life. We get pulled into the story, the struggle, the “ain’t it awfuls” in daily conversation. Where can that possible get us? Well, here’s a clue: it is summed up in my book, What You Pay Attention to Expands. It’s that simple.  Where you turn your attention and focus is where you will find more coming your way. If you don’t want that to be struggle, it’s a good idea to stop that conversation!

When we awaken to the Presence within, we begin to see that undue attention to the things of this world only add to our difficulties. I’m not suggesting that you stop taking care of daily life, of course. I’m simply suggesting that you change the focus to the outpouring from you rather than the desire to get from outside yourself.  It’s amazing how quickly your life changes when you are more concerned with what you can give than concerned about what you may or may not be getting.

Counter-intuitive in an ego-centric culture?  Absolutely. But taking the step to focus on giving rather than figuring out how to get is a great first step on the path to creating an even balance.  I know, because I’ve taken it, and taken it, and taken it. It takes moment-to-moment consciousness of where I want my mind to be stayed. So, I have to recommit to the journey repeatedly. Sometimes, it is sustained and I know what true peace and joy are. Trust me, it’s worth the attention!

To your joy, peace and recognition of abundance in your life,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Coach. Counselor. Catalyst.
….leading you to the life, love & livelihood that fulfills you and serves the life of the world
www.SoulWiseWays.com
www.Rhoberta.com

I invite you to join me on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter @RhobertaShaler

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©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
www.SoulWiseWays.com

When we were writing Soul Solitude: Taking Time for Our Souls to Catch Up, I had to include my favorite question:

“For what might this be good?”

I call it “the magic question.”  It is simply the quickest shortcut from “Ain’t it awful?” to “Maybe I can do something with this?”

When something happens that could quickly take you down a rabbit hole, you can immediately shortcut that journey by asking “the magic question.” You’ve shifted your attention from why it is potentially disastrous to a broader perspective, acknowledging the bigger picture.

I don’t know about you but I know that I will never be up high enough to see the Grand Plan. What I do believe is that all is working itself out in the highest and best way for all concerned, even when, to my limited vision, it appears otherwise.  Hence, the power of “the magic question!”

Is it possible that I need to throw away my rose-colored glasses?  Certainly. Anything is possible. BUT, if I had a hundred dollars for every time I’ve heard someone say this of an event that, at the time, they thought was a tragedy and nearly the end of the world, I’d be an even richer woman:

“You know, it turned out to be the best thing that could have happened! Couldn’t see it at the time, but that’s the truth.”

We are just not up high enough to see all the whole picture. We see only our circumstances and conditions. And, believe me, I know that they are not the truth! We are so much more than our circumstances and conditions, yet, many folks react to them as if they were a)real and b)ours. Neither is true. It is simply our limited vision at the moment that leads us to think they are real and ours.

We can help keep our “eyes on the prize”, our focus on the larger Life, by using that simple question as early as we can in response to anything happening in our world:

“For what might this be good?”

Many blessings, much joy and great love,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Coach. Counselor. Catalyst.
….leading you to create the life, love & livelihood that fulfills you and serves the life of the world
www.SoulWiseWays.com
www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com
www.SpiritualLivingNetwork.com

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©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
www.SoulWiseWays.com

It would be folly to think that we can go about in life doing anything we please. Many have learned that the hard way as the twig has been bent first one way, then the other. My mother’s generation seemed most concerned with

“What will other people think?”

My grandson’s generation has an entitlement mentality:

“The world owes me big time.”

This turned my mother into a chronic worrier, stifling her desires, ambitions and talents to keep other people from potentially making judgments that would upset her, and my grandson into a teenager with an underlying anger at the world. Unfortunately, my mother retained her position and spent most of her time making other people wrong. Fortunately, my wonderful grandson got out in the world and found that he was the one who was going to have to make his way.  I’m so proud of him as he has grasped the realities of sustaining himself in the world without letting go of his precious sense of self.

I recently had a mentoring client who came to the weekly call upset. He said that he had just had an encounter with a colleague that angered him to the point of yelling, swearing and throwing the fellow out of his office.  To his chagrin, I said,

“So, you are a CEO who yells, swears and throws people out of your office.”

He then became somewhat upset with me as he explained that his behavior was simply a response to the outrageous behavior of his VP.  He was clear that this fellow had overstepped all boundaries and had clearly no understanding of appropriate behavior. So, my client justified his behavior, and I said:

“So, you are a CEO who yells, swears and throws people out of your office.”

Again, he patiently tried to explain to me that he had never yelled, sworn or thrown anyone out of his office before, therefore, this was a special case. He plead his case that it was all about the VP and had nothing to do with him.  He was simply reacting–or, he preferred to think it was responding–to this unseemly, inappropriate behavior.

Slowly I did my best to lead him to see that his choice of behavior was entirely his and the proddings of the VP had really nothing to do with his response.  If he were the person he believed himself to be: kind, fair, encouraging and empowering, he had the strength and clarity to choose to respond to the VP from that place. Trying to justify his reaction by placing the power in the hands of the VP is simply crooked thinking!

There is no escape: who you are is what you do. That’s why it is so important to take the time–as I do with my mentees–to reflect, to discuss and to clarify who you are. Then, you will do what that person, the one you have defined, does. Then, you will not give away your power and allow others to “make” you do things that are outside of your values and your decisions about your life.

In my opinion, there is no escape: I am what I do in every situation.  How about you? Are you willing to take that stand?

Many blessings, great joy and much love to you,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, Phd
Consultant. Coach. Counselor. Catalyst.
…leading you to the life, love & livelihood that fulfills you and serves the life of the world.
www.SoulWiseWays.com
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©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Would the world stop turning if I gave up my illusion of control?

That’s a big question with two important parts: my illusion and my control. Do I actually believe that I am in control of all that goes on here called my life? I think of the many goal-setting workshops I gave in the 80’s, so clear that there was a process that could regulate my behavior. Even then, I only paid it lip service in my own life because it did not seem right. Now, I laugh when I think of it. Intuitively, I think I knew that all my planning was simply time-consuming behavior the outcome of which I could not be attached to. But, it gave me the illusion of doing something, at least!

You might have had that experience, too. Please understand that I have no issue with myself or others having goals. I simply consider them to be what I think might be next or best. Not rules. Not formulae. Not “must-haves.” And, able to be let go of in an instant!

I’ve been in seminars and workshops where the supposed sage on the stage demanded that crystal clear goals be created with objectives, action plans and tasks, separated and at the ready as an arsenal for blasting through anything unlike achievement. In fact, it was suggested that you might just be choosing failure if that arsenal was not intact! Perhaps you have experienced something similar.

In our book, SOUL SOLITUDE: Taking Time for Our Souls to Catch Up, we say that surrender is one of the four most important steps in a soulwise life. That’s not a sometimes kind of surrender. It’s a bigtime, all-the-time kind of surrender. Are you willing to live surrendered in God? What do you understand by that question? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Many blessings,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Coach. Counselor. Catalyst.
…leading you to align values, vision, beliefs & purpose to create the life you long for
www.SoulWiseWays.com
Find me on Facebook, Twitter & Linked in at RhobertaShaler

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Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Yesterday, I was talking with an interesting woman with whom I have much in common. We are both authors and have a strong spiritual foundation we share. We talked about such current topics as:

> creating your reality
> living your beliefs
> The Law of Attraction
> The Law of Mental Equivalents
> consistency of purpose

Some fairly lofty principles. In speaking about the Law of Attraction–an old concept previously well-documented by Ernest Holmes, Founder of Religious Science and called The Law of Cause & Effect coupled with the Law of Mental Equivalents, we both were clear about one thing: if a “Law” works sometimes, it must work all the time. It couldn’t be a “Law” (I don’t much like that word!) if it was not true all the time.

We talked about The Secret and how it had brought attention to the idea of intentionality in creating outcomes. We agreed that it was a good thing, but not a deep-enough thing. It did not bring folks to the truth that you have to live your spiritual principles every moment, not just when you want something!

So, not to belabor the point, we had agreement on principles! She spoke of the many things she had manifested easily and effortlessly. She knows it all works and how to use it. She teaches it. There was no question in her mind.

As we were ending the conversation she said something interesting,

“I’d love to do something with you if I had any money at all, but, I don’t.”

And we said “Goodbye.”

If a principle works, it works all the time. If it works in one area of life, it works in all areas of life. So, what is the key that needs turning for her to create profit in her life?

What do you think is required?

Let’s talk about it here.

I wish you well.
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Coach. Counselor. Catalyst.
…leading you to align your values, vision, beliefs & purpose to create the life & livelihood you long for
www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com
www.SoulWiseWays.com

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© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

I was reading an amazing…and, I mean that quite literally…printout a friend created for me, telling me about myself and my inner processing, my innate human design. Because of my work owning a yoga and management retreat as well as my deep interest in all things leading to personal and spiritual growth, I’ve had many such analyzes over the years. This one is, as I said, truly amazing.

What struck me particularly and truly made me smile was this phrase, “For you, action arises out of receptivity. Trust in the power of waiting.”  The smile came from the long, long road it took for me to walk from,

“I have an idea. I can make it work right now. Just watch me.” to

“Let’s see how it unfolds!”

Patience, listening, waiting. These lessons took much time to arrive. For years, I talked about patience and listening and waiting, yet, I was impatient, talking and doing. Good things often came as a result because the work was useful and practical. The time it has taken to arrive at a place of quiet, listening and responding has, no doubt, been the right time. Now, as I read those words in that printout, all I could do was smile and say,

“Thank you.”

Have a patient, listening day allowing Life to unfold before you.

To Your Success!
Rhoberta

P.S.  You can connect with me on LinkedIn, Facebook & Twitter. Look for ‘RhobertaShaler’

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Coach. Counselor. Catalyst.
….leading you to the life & livelihood that fulfills you & serves the life of the world
www.SoulWiseWays.com

Founder, www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com
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©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

You Are Rich If…

You remember the image of something so exquisitely beautiful it took your breath away.

You can hear a friend’s words of encouragement still ringing in your ear.

You remember one wise thing a caring adult told you.

You remember a time when laughter caused tears to run down your cheeks and you to double over to catch your breath.

You have any holiday tradition that you still insist on following, no matter how trivial or crazy.

You have someone with whom you have no secrets, some who knows you well and loves you because of it.

You know how it feels to have your heart expand with love.

You like yourself and demonstrate it by treating yourself well.

You know what brings you joy and you create it purposefully.

You have a happy memory that lights you up on dark days.

You see the cup half full, and know you are holding the pitcher to fill it.

You love freely without judgment, just because it’s who you are.

You have released past hurts as there is no remedy.

You embrace the present moment because it is the only time you have.

You have someone to call who will brighten up by hearing your voice.

You know there is no one to blame and no longer go looking for them.

You believe you are beautiful in every way.

You notice and appreciate small joys, wonders and gestures as well as the big ones.

You believe in yourself and others.

Someone lights up when you walk in the room.

You have loved and been loved by a dog.

Every day you find something for which to give thanks.

I give thanks for you for…

…finding the sunlight and walking in it even when the world wants to tell you it is raining and there’s more to come.

…loving life because you’re breathing–and it beats what is in second place.

…bringing a smile to someone’s face by putting one on your own.

…taking the time to appreciate the presence of another in your life.

…reaching out to say “Thank you” for the small things that touch your heart and mind.

…living your truth, no matter what those around you have to say about it.

…remembering that life is a journey to be experienced fully, not a destination to reach or a race to be won.

…being ever aware of the gift of Life in every moment, opening it and being delighted with whatever is in the package.

…and for being a center of peace, love and well-being–on purpose.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Many blessings, much love and great joy,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Coach. Counselor. Catalyst.
…leading you to align your values, vision, beliefs & purpose to create the life & livelihood you long for
www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com
www.SoulWiseWays.com

Get inspiring quotes daily. Subscribe to www.DailySpiritualQuotes.com

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© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Do you ever feel over-compromised in your relationships?

Like you’ve given in, given over, and maybe even given up?

If you’ve ever said these words, you’re there.“IT’S NOT WORTH THE HASSLE!!!”

Those are complaints I hear often from my relationship coaching clients who are searching for the keys to having the relationship they long for, but haven’t yet experienced.

We are told over and over that every relationship involves a certain amount of compromise. And, it’s true. There is very little value in arguing over whose movie gets chosen every single time. There’s a logical place to compromise. The problem is that many folks live with constant feelings of giving in, giving over and have simply given up. And, there are cures!

Unfortunately, there is no magic, though. Relationship begins with you, not the other person. If I had a hundred dollars for each couple who say they want to improve their relationship and have come into my office or to a coaching call with this attitude, I’d be delighted:

“If only you could teach her/him ______________, our relationship would be great.”

Now, those couples seldom say that out loud. They really believe that if I could just fix their partners all problems would disappear. They come in hoping that I’ll simply take the back off their partner, make a few adjustments, and all will be heavenly. Those unspoken agendas and secret fantasies need great consideration…because you may them and never even make it to my office or telephone. You simply delude yourself with the idea that it’s your partner’s issues that make the relationship difficult.

Relationship starts with knowing who you are, AND, who you are in relationship. Examining that and how it came to be true is an essential beginning point. In the four-week SoulWise Loving class, we work on ourselves in new ways for the first two weeks. Big surprise to many folks, cuz they came to find out the secrets of fixing their partner!!

Compromise is only one of five major ways to manage conflict. And, conflict is not a four-letter word. It simply means a difference of opinion, style or point-of-view. Learning how to manage conflict effectively and productively is key for everyone, in every relationship. It goes hand-in-hand with also learning to communicate and negotiate skillfully–both also learned skills.

Where did you learn to manage conflict? If you are like most people, it was learned by watching others. That spectrum runs between screaming, yelling and serving up ultimatums to acquiesing, backing down and avoiding confrontation at all costs. None of those strategies are wise or productive. You’ve likely noticed that.

If you find yourself compromising more than is comfortable, take the time to ask yourself why you do that. If you think you’re just seeking peace, examine that. Peace is great, but, if it begins to be accompanied by resentment, you need another strategy.

You need to know who you are and what you value, believe, and desire. Peace at all cost is not likely it. That will lead you to over-compromising. That is simply under-valuing yourself. If this is a description of your relationship, you are not headed towards SoulWise Loving.

SoulWise Loving begins in Soul Solitude. When we wrote that book, Soul Solitude: Taking Time for Our Souls to Catch Up, we gave you guidelines, reasons and principles for taking time for your soul to catch up. That’s the starting point to have the most glorious life possible. You deserve it.

Overcome over-compromising now.

I wish you well.
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Coach. Counselor. Catalyst..
Founder, SoulWise Ways
www.SoulWiseWays.com
Dr. Shaler coaches couples to develop soul-to-soul relationships.  Contact her directly at RS@SoulWiseWays.com to schedule a consultation.

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©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Whether we define our success in terms of quality of life, joy in relationships, fame, recognition or piles of money, the first step in creating it…aside from buying a lottery ticket…is to consciously evaluate our alignment.  I know I have to do this on a regular basis in order to stay in the flow.  I expect you do, too.

There is so much talk about values and yet, I know that with my mentoring clients and seminar participants, actually coming to grips with those values is seldom done. How do I  know I value something in reality?  I demonstrate it in my daily life, in my thinking, speaking and behaving.  Otherwise, it’s just talk!

The other day, working with a group, I asked them to quickly name the top four things they valued in life. In fact, I gave them ten seconds only.  No one could do it.  The reason why not is that they’d had never taken the time for themselves to actually figure it out. And, yes, they could talk the talk with ease!

When we wrote on the back cover of our book, Soul Solitude: Taking Time for Our Souls to Catch Up, that ‘YOU MATTER,” we really meant it.  And, unless we treat ourselves as if that is true, we are kidding ourselves.  I ask myself this question:

“How have I demonstrated to myself today that I matter? Have I taken care of my health? Spent time in reflection with inspiring books or in meditation? Fed my soul? Made time for relationships that I value? Worked in a focused way following my business plan? “

The answer tells the whole story.  If my life is not centered around my vision, values, beliefs and purpose, I may be wildly off track and likely chasing dollar bills while living up to someone else’s expectations.

When I begin work with a new mentoring client or mentoring group of members , one of the first exercises is to work with values. When we have wrestled with that, there is sufficient clarity to move on with life, love and focused livelihood. I know the value of consciously aligning life for success.  I invite you to take the time to do so, too.

*  When you are ready to accelerate your progress and improve your life or business, consider an individual or group mentoring program with me.  Working on the telephone for three months together can change everything…and get you back in the flow in every way.  Visit www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com and call me soon.  I’d love to work with you to create the life, love and livelihood that fulfills you.

To your success.
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Coach. Counselor. Catalyst.
…leading you to the life, love & livelihood that fulfills you & serves the life of the world
www.SoulWiseWays.com
Work with her directly to accelerate your success in life, love & business now.

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