©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
www.SoulWiseWays.com

What is an even balance?  And, is it achievable?  Big questions. I think we are always balancing rather than actually achieving balance for very many minutes…or seconds. That said, though, coming to that state of balance, equilibrium and joy is the important concept. How long we can sustain it is up to us!

Fear is the climate in which most folks live today.  Even when they do achieve some sense of balance– joy, love, safety, understanding, peace, joy, they then become fearful of losing it. Snap! It’s gone.  That feeling of contentment and security seems so elusive. Could it be because we look for it in the all the wrong places?

If we look for good outside ourselves and put our faith and trust in persons or things, we are on shaky ground already. If we are dependent on other people and material possessions, it is a false reliance that usually fails in the end. When we rely on what we can see and touch, we are likely going to find that sense of peace very infrequently. And, furthermore, if we think that momentary joy came from what we see and touch, we’ll waste our time trying to repeat the experience that way. Not so good, I’ve found.

This is worth thinking about: if we believe in the visible, the things we can see and touch, they are by nature limited. Then, we begin to be concerned about “getting our share” which leads us to scarcity thinking. If what we can grab is what is real, then we have a big problem. It has to be shared by all the people in the world, so, if I can get more, you have to have less. No wonder we have a fear problem!  And, think what this does to countries, too.

Our enduring values cannot be found in material things or in other people. We can only find enduring values in that which is beyond the visible, that which is already an integral part of our being, God within.

Surely there is something better than engaging in the everyday struggle and strife, and the multitude of conversations about it. That’s why we spent considerable time in our book, Soul Solitude: Taking Time for Our Souls to Catch Up, shedding some light on our culture’s addiction to drama. Just think of TV news and you’ll see it larger than life. We get pulled into the story, the struggle, the “ain’t it awfuls” in daily conversation. Where can that possible get us? Well, here’s a clue: it is summed up in my book, What You Pay Attention to Expands. It’s that simple.  Where you turn your attention and focus is where you will find more coming your way. If you don’t want that to be struggle, it’s a good idea to stop that conversation!

When we awaken to the Presence within, we begin to see that undue attention to the things of this world only add to our difficulties. I’m not suggesting that you stop taking care of daily life, of course. I’m simply suggesting that you change the focus to the outpouring from you rather than the desire to get from outside yourself.  It’s amazing how quickly your life changes when you are more concerned with what you can give than concerned about what you may or may not be getting.

Counter-intuitive in an ego-centric culture?  Absolutely. But taking the step to focus on giving rather than figuring out how to get is a great first step on the path to creating an even balance.  I know, because I’ve taken it, and taken it, and taken it. It takes moment-to-moment consciousness of where I want my mind to be stayed. So, I have to recommit to the journey repeatedly. Sometimes, it is sustained and I know what true peace and joy are. Trust me, it’s worth the attention!

To your joy, peace and recognition of abundance in your life,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Coach. Counselor. Catalyst.
….leading you to the life, love & livelihood that fulfills you and serves the life of the world
www.SoulWiseWays.com
www.Rhoberta.com

I invite you to join me on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter @RhobertaShaler

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© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

We have all heard the directive to “love your neighbor as yourself.”  It occurs in some paraphrase in each of the ten major spiritual traditions and religions of the world.  So, there must be something to it, right?

So, what is this kind of love?  Love in the spiritual sense is not something far-off and removed from us. It isn’t anything that can come to us. It is already a part of who we are, already well-established within us.  AND, it is universal and impersonal.  This wonderful love can pour out from us in abundance because we have a never-ending supply.

Now, that might seem contradictory to the evidence in your reality.  What about those people who seem to complain about everything and everybody?  Where’s that never-ending pouring of love through them?  Just because it’s available doesn’t mean folks avail themselves of it.  The electricity is always just waiting at the switch for you to turn it on, but some folks just like to sit in the dark.  Enough said.

Where does all this wonder, light and joy come from? In my opinion–and, that’s all I can offer you here after fifty years of study and practice, our receptivity to the understanding that God is Love, and God and man are one, leads me to the evitable conclusion that there is no way to love God without some of that love flowing out to our neighbor…all the time.  It’s flow!

Who are our neighbors?  Just the folks next door, in the next room or in the next town?  I think it’s important for each of us to think this through.  It sounds simple, but is it?  Is it literal, or, is there more?

So, who is this neighbor?  This may be a bit much to take in, but, I’m going to suggest that anything of which we can become aware is our neighbor, no matter whether it is a person, animal, place, or thing.  One of my favorite writers, Joel S. Goldsmith, wrote:

“Every idea in consciousness is a neighbor. …When we see God as the cause and our neighbor as that which is in and of God, then we are loving our neighbor, whether that neighbor appears as a friend, relative, enemy, animal, flower or stone. In such loving, which understands all neighbors to be of God,…we find that every idea in consciousness takes its rightful place. Those neighbors who are a part of our experience find their way to us and those who are not are removed. Let us resolve loving our neighbor into a spiritual activity, beholding love as the substance of all that is, no matter what the form may be.”   Practicing the Presence, p. 66

The good news about these ideas is that each of us now can simply be loving, no matter what the experience, conditions or circumstances. We do not have to think about it. We simply choose to be loving in all cases.

When I wrote Wrestling Rhinos: Conquering Conflict in the Wilds of Work, I did so because skills of communication, conflict and anger management and negotiation are essential to peace and productivity.  The same is true in the home and family, in fact, everywhere.  We find “our neighbors” everywhere, too.  Sometimes it is tough to be grateful for the many opportunities we get in a day–or a family–to choose to be loving.  That’s why I made it my mission when I created the Optimize Institute to teach people to communicate in ways that are totally kind and totally honest at the same time.  Doing that is loving.

I invite you to reflect on the neighbors in your life and how you can express love in your interactions.  I’m going to pet my dog, Mystery, for a bit…because I love him.

Great joy, much love & the recognition of the abundance that surrounds you always.
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Coach. Counselor. Catalyst.
…leading you to the life, love & livehood that fulfills you & serves the life of the world
www.SoulWiseWays.com
http://rhoberta.com

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© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Provocative question! So many people say they are looking for love. For you to know what to do with it when you find it, you have to BE a lover.

What does it mean ‘to be a lover?’ It is not about words, though they can be expressive. It is not about money, though everyone enjoys gifts. It is not about doing things for the beloved, though that is always appreciated. It is not about spending time together, though that is delightful. It is not about the warmth of a hug and the touch of a hand, although connection affirms our existence.

To be a lover is all these things and more. To be a lover is to demonstrate consistent enthusiastic devotion to the object of your affections through those loving behaviors, and want for your partner what your partner wants for him or herself.

That’s a tall order and a full-time commitment. That’s why I say that relationship is a spiritual path within your spiritual path. It calls forth all that you have. That’s SoulWise Loving.

I wish you SoulWise Love.
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Coach. Counselor. Catalyst.
…leading you to align your values, vision, beliefs & purpose to create the life, relationships & livelihood that you long for
www.SoulWiseWays.com
http://www.forwomenentrepreneurs.com/

Join me on Facebook, Twitter & LinkedIn at RhobertaShaler

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