©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
www.SoulWiseWays.com

What is an even balance?  And, is it achievable?  Big questions. I think we are always balancing rather than actually achieving balance for very many minutes…or seconds. That said, though, coming to that state of balance, equilibrium and joy is the important concept. How long we can sustain it is up to us!

Fear is the climate in which most folks live today.  Even when they do achieve some sense of balance– joy, love, safety, understanding, peace, joy, they then become fearful of losing it. Snap! It’s gone.  That feeling of contentment and security seems so elusive. Could it be because we look for it in the all the wrong places?

If we look for good outside ourselves and put our faith and trust in persons or things, we are on shaky ground already. If we are dependent on other people and material possessions, it is a false reliance that usually fails in the end. When we rely on what we can see and touch, we are likely going to find that sense of peace very infrequently. And, furthermore, if we think that momentary joy came from what we see and touch, we’ll waste our time trying to repeat the experience that way. Not so good, I’ve found.

This is worth thinking about: if we believe in the visible, the things we can see and touch, they are by nature limited. Then, we begin to be concerned about “getting our share” which leads us to scarcity thinking. If what we can grab is what is real, then we have a big problem. It has to be shared by all the people in the world, so, if I can get more, you have to have less. No wonder we have a fear problem!  And, think what this does to countries, too.

Our enduring values cannot be found in material things or in other people. We can only find enduring values in that which is beyond the visible, that which is already an integral part of our being, God within.

Surely there is something better than engaging in the everyday struggle and strife, and the multitude of conversations about it. That’s why we spent considerable time in our book, Soul Solitude: Taking Time for Our Souls to Catch Up, shedding some light on our culture’s addiction to drama. Just think of TV news and you’ll see it larger than life. We get pulled into the story, the struggle, the “ain’t it awfuls” in daily conversation. Where can that possible get us? Well, here’s a clue: it is summed up in my book, What You Pay Attention to Expands. It’s that simple.  Where you turn your attention and focus is where you will find more coming your way. If you don’t want that to be struggle, it’s a good idea to stop that conversation!

When we awaken to the Presence within, we begin to see that undue attention to the things of this world only add to our difficulties. I’m not suggesting that you stop taking care of daily life, of course. I’m simply suggesting that you change the focus to the outpouring from you rather than the desire to get from outside yourself.  It’s amazing how quickly your life changes when you are more concerned with what you can give than concerned about what you may or may not be getting.

Counter-intuitive in an ego-centric culture?  Absolutely. But taking the step to focus on giving rather than figuring out how to get is a great first step on the path to creating an even balance.  I know, because I’ve taken it, and taken it, and taken it. It takes moment-to-moment consciousness of where I want my mind to be stayed. So, I have to recommit to the journey repeatedly. Sometimes, it is sustained and I know what true peace and joy are. Trust me, it’s worth the attention!

To your joy, peace and recognition of abundance in your life,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Coach. Counselor. Catalyst.
….leading you to the life, love & livelihood that fulfills you and serves the life of the world
www.SoulWiseWays.com
www.Rhoberta.com

I invite you to join me on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter @RhobertaShaler

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© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

I think a very important part of the discussion around creating a SoulWise Life is in determining the difference between Ego and Soul.

There are some writers who would have us get rid of the Ego as quickly as possible, which, in our way of thinking in Soul Solitude, would mean a quick end to earthly life. We think the Ego is an important part that needs to be acknowledged and recognized for what it does for us. What we want to avoid is an Ego-Driven Life.

The Ego is a necessary part of us and definitely a part that we are wise to embrace. When it is in the driver’s seat, however, in a relationship, that tenderness, availability, sensitivity and willingness is over-shadowed by the Ego needs.

We talk a lot about the Ego in Soul Solitude because we believe it is quite misunderstood. There are many who suggest that we must “kill the Ego” if we are to live spiritual lives. We say, “Not so.” The Soul does not matter to the Ego, however, so the Ego truly resists our achieving Soul Solitude. The Ego is outwardly focused on acquiring, doing, keeping, having. The Ego thinks sitting is Soul Solitude is a waste of the precious time it believes is so limited!

The Ego leads us into interesting places…to say the least! Then, it is up to us to apply spiritual principles to where we find ourselves. That is the shift from Ego-Driven to SoulWise.

What are your thoughts on the matter?

Many blessings,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Consultant. Coach. Counselor. Catalyst.
Founder, Spiritual Living Network, www.SpiritualLivingNetwork.com
Co-Author, Soul Solitude: Taking Time for Our Souls to Catch Up, www.SoulSolitude.com

www.SoulWiseWays.com

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© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

When times get tense, many people become fearful.

What should I do?
What’s going to happen?
What’s going to happen to me?
Why now?
What if there isn’t enough?
Why did “they” do that?

So, many questions. They surface in the board room, the dining room and the bedroom…and everywhere there is quiet time to fall into anxiety, or conversation leading to shame and blame. When we wrote Soul Solitude: Taking Time for Our Souls to Catch Up, we talked about a generalized tendency in our culture, families and workplaces to engage in SBJJ and how destructive this is. When fear hits, SBJJ can become more than a tendency. It becomes the main topic of conversation, a way to try to make ourselves feel better.  And, it is a total waste of time, energy and relationships.

SBJJ?  Shame, blame, judge and justify! If I can just make it come out all right in my own mind or in my conversations, then, I’ll feel better.  It’s not so, is it? You don’t really feel better when you find someone to blame, shame or judge. And, when I’m dancing as fast as I can to justify my feelings, behaviors or choices, inside I know that it is a futile dance.

There are two other choices: focus and faith.  When I wrote What You Pay Attention to Expands a few years ago, before the Law of Attraction and The Secret became so popular, the very idea expressed in the title made an impression.  Where am I placing my attention?  If I’m looking for someone to SBJJ, I cannot be actively taking responsibility for my own life. And, if I take some time to reflect on my own thoughts and behavior, I might find that I am spending an inordinate amount of time worrying these days. If that’s the case, the worry will expand. My fear will expand. And, what’s the use of that?

I’ve learned that I am powerful, and I know you are, too. You can change the focus of your thoughts. If there is more month than money, focus on what you can do rather than on what you cannot. If someone is dancing on your last nerve, find something to love about them and express your appreciation.  No, no, now, this isn’t Pollyanna thinking. This is you and me taking charge of our thoughts and the fears and anxieties that can arise from them.  It’s your choice what you think about.

And, then there is faith. I’ll say this simply: if we believe in a God, a Higher Power, a Universal Life Force “whose good pleasure it is to give you the Kingdom”, that provides abundantly, freely and constantly, wouldn’t it be atheism to be afraid?

I’ll leave you with that last thought.  It might just set you thinking…which is the whole point of today’s post!  I hope  you’ll share your thoughts below.

Cheers,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Coach. Counselor. Catalyst.
…leading you to the life, love & livelihood that fulfills you and serves the life of the world
www.SoulWiseWays.com
www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com

Host of  the hot new internet radio program for women entrepreneurs, Women on the Move with a Mission

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