© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Are you mistaking your schedule for your life?  If so, you’re not going to have much joy. When the end of your day…or the end of your life, for that matter…arrives, what do you look back on?  Does it bring you joy?  Better yet, did you bring any joy to anyone else?

Often the answer to the simple question of “How are you?” brings the answer:

“I’m so busy. I’m exhausted.”

That doesn’t seem like a recipe for joy to me. How about you? Yet, even if you don’t say that sentence at the end of your day, you may be thinking or feeling it.

Many people are mistaking their schedule for their life. Fitting in quiet time and reflective moments seems impossible. Time in nature to simply connect, feel the oneness with life, is whittled down to something like: let me walk the dog and get on with the more important things of the day. Even walking the dog gives you an opportunity to see beauty, connect with the cyclical nature of the seasons and life, to move your body and experience joy.  If it’s just what has to be done, it’s just the schedule and you’re missing out of Life.

Henry David Thoreau asked an essential question for reflection:

“It’s not enough to be busy, so are the ants. The question is, what are we busy about?”

What distinguishes us from the ants, in endless search of food, creating assembly lines that fill their days in our kitchens?  That’s the big question.

Are you living your values, demonstrating your beliefs and choosing your activities wisely?  That would be living in SoulWise Ways. Or, are you mistaking your schedule for your life?

Many blessings,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Coach. Counselor. Catalyst.
Success Solutions for Life, Love & Livelihood
www.Rhoberta.com
www.SoulWiseWays.com

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©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

We call people “spiritual seekers” and many are looking for God in all the wrong places…in my opinion. (Of course, I can only share my thoughts and conclusions about this after fifty years of walking the spiritual path through amazing experiences and beside still waters, and they are just mine.)

Why do I think folks are looking in all the wrong places?  Because they are looking for God outside of themselves.  You know there is an old story about sages arguing about where to hide the truth, each with his own idea.  Finally once suggested hiding it inside people.  When asked why he thought that was best, his reply was:

“Because they will never think to look there!”

God is within me, expressing in, as, around and through me and I know that to be true. Believe me, I’ve had ample opportunity to figure that out! As a young mom, I made my way alone with three children, a fulltime job, little child support and parents who espoused that infamous phrase,

“You made your bed. Now, lie in it!”

As I sat down with a pile of bills much higher than the pile of dollars each month, I would feel myself slipping into the “ain’t it awfuls” and have to remind myself–maybe even talk out loud very strongly to myself to get my attention–that God is, in fact, expressing through me and only I can stop the flow! And, oh, I had such supposedly rational ways to stop that flow.

What if you could wrap your head around the idea that God is within you, made you as the Bible says “in his image and likeness,” and you could live from that idea? God has poured everything out for you long before you went looking for it. Could you accept that?  Or, do you prefer fear, limitation, and struggle?

Believe me, I know it is not always easy to stay in that flow. I’m an expert at finding justifications for making plans and making things happen.  Foolish me. Truly, when I remember that God lives as me, then all is “added unto me.” It’s when I get my knickers in a knot, thinking I have to MAKE it happen, that anxiety, anger, frustration and fear take over.

Fortunately, after all these years, I’m quicker at remembering and getting back in the flow that has sustained and maintained me with manna all these years.

How about you?  How do you get yourself back into the flow?

Many blessings,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Coach. Counselor. Catalyst.
…leading you to the life, love & livelihood that fulfills you and serves the life of the world
www.SoulWiseWays.com
www.Rhoberta.com
Enjoy free social networking for spiritually-minded people at www.SpiritualLivingNetwork.com

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©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Is that heresy to say that there is no such thing as balance? Some would scream so…but, they may be just a little reactive.  So, just to put “them” at rest, let me say right off that top that balance is a good idea. But….

We can only hold onto it for a few moments.  The truth is we are never balanced, or even, in balance. What there is, if we are realistic and understanding that perfection will always elude us, is balancing.  We are always balancing. It is a dynamic process, not static. It’s a journey, not a destination. You get the picture.

Wanting to pay attention to creating a balanced life is absolutely admirable. I hope every one of us has that as a top priority. We spend quite a bit of time in our book, Soul Solitude: Taking Time for Our Souls to Catch Up, talking about the nine arenas of attention in life that need consideration in order to approach a sense of feeling balanced…even for a short while. So, although it might have sounded initially like heresy, I hope you’re breathing easier now!

As a psychologist and a seminar and keynote presenter for more than twenty-five years, I can say with some confidence that the one thing that many women do not give themselves is their own attention. They are so busy taking care of others–or, at least, the feelings and opinions of others–that they put themselves at the bottom of their list.  And, I’ll also tell you, that although they ‘fess us to that being true during the class, most have sunk to the bottom of their lists in a week or less following the seminar, too.  It’s a VERY bad habit, not according yourself the same time and attention you offer others in life. I’ve known women who speak to the checkout person in the supermarket better, with more care, consideration and thoughtfulness, than they speak to themselves internally!

So, balancing….how are you doing?  Would you share a tip or two that keep you on an even keel? Just offer them in the comments area below this blog entry.

To Your Success!
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Coach. Counselor. Catalyst.
…leading you to the life & livelihood that fulfills you & serves the life of the world

http://ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com
http://SoulWiseWays.com

If you’d like to send me an email directly, do so:  RS@SoulWiseWays.com

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© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

I think a very important part of the discussion around creating a SoulWise Life is in determining the difference between Ego and Soul.

There are some writers who would have us get rid of the Ego as quickly as possible, which, in our way of thinking in Soul Solitude, would mean a quick end to earthly life. We think the Ego is an important part that needs to be acknowledged and recognized for what it does for us. What we want to avoid is an Ego-Driven Life.

The Ego is a necessary part of us and definitely a part that we are wise to embrace. When it is in the driver’s seat, however, in a relationship, that tenderness, availability, sensitivity and willingness is over-shadowed by the Ego needs.

We talk a lot about the Ego in Soul Solitude because we believe it is quite misunderstood. There are many who suggest that we must “kill the Ego” if we are to live spiritual lives. We say, “Not so.” The Soul does not matter to the Ego, however, so the Ego truly resists our achieving Soul Solitude. The Ego is outwardly focused on acquiring, doing, keeping, having. The Ego thinks sitting is Soul Solitude is a waste of the precious time it believes is so limited!

The Ego leads us into interesting places…to say the least! Then, it is up to us to apply spiritual principles to where we find ourselves. That is the shift from Ego-Driven to SoulWise.

What are your thoughts on the matter?

Many blessings,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Consultant. Coach. Counselor. Catalyst.
Founder, Spiritual Living Network, www.SpiritualLivingNetwork.com
Co-Author, Soul Solitude: Taking Time for Our Souls to Catch Up, www.SoulSolitude.com

www.SoulWiseWays.com

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© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

When times get tense, many people become fearful.

What should I do?
What’s going to happen?
What’s going to happen to me?
Why now?
What if there isn’t enough?
Why did “they” do that?

So, many questions. They surface in the board room, the dining room and the bedroom…and everywhere there is quiet time to fall into anxiety, or conversation leading to shame and blame. When we wrote Soul Solitude: Taking Time for Our Souls to Catch Up, we talked about a generalized tendency in our culture, families and workplaces to engage in SBJJ and how destructive this is. When fear hits, SBJJ can become more than a tendency. It becomes the main topic of conversation, a way to try to make ourselves feel better.  And, it is a total waste of time, energy and relationships.

SBJJ?  Shame, blame, judge and justify! If I can just make it come out all right in my own mind or in my conversations, then, I’ll feel better.  It’s not so, is it? You don’t really feel better when you find someone to blame, shame or judge. And, when I’m dancing as fast as I can to justify my feelings, behaviors or choices, inside I know that it is a futile dance.

There are two other choices: focus and faith.  When I wrote What You Pay Attention to Expands a few years ago, before the Law of Attraction and The Secret became so popular, the very idea expressed in the title made an impression.  Where am I placing my attention?  If I’m looking for someone to SBJJ, I cannot be actively taking responsibility for my own life. And, if I take some time to reflect on my own thoughts and behavior, I might find that I am spending an inordinate amount of time worrying these days. If that’s the case, the worry will expand. My fear will expand. And, what’s the use of that?

I’ve learned that I am powerful, and I know you are, too. You can change the focus of your thoughts. If there is more month than money, focus on what you can do rather than on what you cannot. If someone is dancing on your last nerve, find something to love about them and express your appreciation.  No, no, now, this isn’t Pollyanna thinking. This is you and me taking charge of our thoughts and the fears and anxieties that can arise from them.  It’s your choice what you think about.

And, then there is faith. I’ll say this simply: if we believe in a God, a Higher Power, a Universal Life Force “whose good pleasure it is to give you the Kingdom”, that provides abundantly, freely and constantly, wouldn’t it be atheism to be afraid?

I’ll leave you with that last thought.  It might just set you thinking…which is the whole point of today’s post!  I hope  you’ll share your thoughts below.

Cheers,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Coach. Counselor. Catalyst.
…leading you to the life, love & livelihood that fulfills you and serves the life of the world
www.SoulWiseWays.com
www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com

Host of  the hot new internet radio program for women entrepreneurs, Women on the Move with a Mission

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