© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Are you mistaking your schedule for your life?  If so, you’re not going to have much joy. When the end of your day…or the end of your life, for that matter…arrives, what do you look back on?  Does it bring you joy?  Better yet, did you bring any joy to anyone else?

Often the answer to the simple question of “How are you?” brings the answer:

“I’m so busy. I’m exhausted.”

That doesn’t seem like a recipe for joy to me. How about you? Yet, even if you don’t say that sentence at the end of your day, you may be thinking or feeling it.

Many people are mistaking their schedule for their life. Fitting in quiet time and reflective moments seems impossible. Time in nature to simply connect, feel the oneness with life, is whittled down to something like: let me walk the dog and get on with the more important things of the day. Even walking the dog gives you an opportunity to see beauty, connect with the cyclical nature of the seasons and life, to move your body and experience joy.  If it’s just what has to be done, it’s just the schedule and you’re missing out of Life.

Henry David Thoreau asked an essential question for reflection:

“It’s not enough to be busy, so are the ants. The question is, what are we busy about?”

What distinguishes us from the ants, in endless search of food, creating assembly lines that fill their days in our kitchens?  That’s the big question.

Are you living your values, demonstrating your beliefs and choosing your activities wisely?  That would be living in SoulWise Ways. Or, are you mistaking your schedule for your life?

Many blessings,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Coach. Counselor. Catalyst.
Success Solutions for Life, Love & Livelihood
www.Rhoberta.com
www.SoulWiseWays.com

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©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
www.SoulWiseWays.com

What is an even balance?  And, is it achievable?  Big questions. I think we are always balancing rather than actually achieving balance for very many minutes…or seconds. That said, though, coming to that state of balance, equilibrium and joy is the important concept. How long we can sustain it is up to us!

Fear is the climate in which most folks live today.  Even when they do achieve some sense of balance– joy, love, safety, understanding, peace, joy, they then become fearful of losing it. Snap! It’s gone.  That feeling of contentment and security seems so elusive. Could it be because we look for it in the all the wrong places?

If we look for good outside ourselves and put our faith and trust in persons or things, we are on shaky ground already. If we are dependent on other people and material possessions, it is a false reliance that usually fails in the end. When we rely on what we can see and touch, we are likely going to find that sense of peace very infrequently. And, furthermore, if we think that momentary joy came from what we see and touch, we’ll waste our time trying to repeat the experience that way. Not so good, I’ve found.

This is worth thinking about: if we believe in the visible, the things we can see and touch, they are by nature limited. Then, we begin to be concerned about “getting our share” which leads us to scarcity thinking. If what we can grab is what is real, then we have a big problem. It has to be shared by all the people in the world, so, if I can get more, you have to have less. No wonder we have a fear problem!  And, think what this does to countries, too.

Our enduring values cannot be found in material things or in other people. We can only find enduring values in that which is beyond the visible, that which is already an integral part of our being, God within.

Surely there is something better than engaging in the everyday struggle and strife, and the multitude of conversations about it. That’s why we spent considerable time in our book, Soul Solitude: Taking Time for Our Souls to Catch Up, shedding some light on our culture’s addiction to drama. Just think of TV news and you’ll see it larger than life. We get pulled into the story, the struggle, the “ain’t it awfuls” in daily conversation. Where can that possible get us? Well, here’s a clue: it is summed up in my book, What You Pay Attention to Expands. It’s that simple.  Where you turn your attention and focus is where you will find more coming your way. If you don’t want that to be struggle, it’s a good idea to stop that conversation!

When we awaken to the Presence within, we begin to see that undue attention to the things of this world only add to our difficulties. I’m not suggesting that you stop taking care of daily life, of course. I’m simply suggesting that you change the focus to the outpouring from you rather than the desire to get from outside yourself.  It’s amazing how quickly your life changes when you are more concerned with what you can give than concerned about what you may or may not be getting.

Counter-intuitive in an ego-centric culture?  Absolutely. But taking the step to focus on giving rather than figuring out how to get is a great first step on the path to creating an even balance.  I know, because I’ve taken it, and taken it, and taken it. It takes moment-to-moment consciousness of where I want my mind to be stayed. So, I have to recommit to the journey repeatedly. Sometimes, it is sustained and I know what true peace and joy are. Trust me, it’s worth the attention!

To your joy, peace and recognition of abundance in your life,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Coach. Counselor. Catalyst.
….leading you to the life, love & livelihood that fulfills you and serves the life of the world
www.SoulWiseWays.com
www.Rhoberta.com

I invite you to join me on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter @RhobertaShaler

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©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Is that heresy to say that there is no such thing as balance? Some would scream so…but, they may be just a little reactive.  So, just to put “them” at rest, let me say right off that top that balance is a good idea. But….

We can only hold onto it for a few moments.  The truth is we are never balanced, or even, in balance. What there is, if we are realistic and understanding that perfection will always elude us, is balancing.  We are always balancing. It is a dynamic process, not static. It’s a journey, not a destination. You get the picture.

Wanting to pay attention to creating a balanced life is absolutely admirable. I hope every one of us has that as a top priority. We spend quite a bit of time in our book, Soul Solitude: Taking Time for Our Souls to Catch Up, talking about the nine arenas of attention in life that need consideration in order to approach a sense of feeling balanced…even for a short while. So, although it might have sounded initially like heresy, I hope you’re breathing easier now!

As a psychologist and a seminar and keynote presenter for more than twenty-five years, I can say with some confidence that the one thing that many women do not give themselves is their own attention. They are so busy taking care of others–or, at least, the feelings and opinions of others–that they put themselves at the bottom of their list.  And, I’ll also tell you, that although they ‘fess us to that being true during the class, most have sunk to the bottom of their lists in a week or less following the seminar, too.  It’s a VERY bad habit, not according yourself the same time and attention you offer others in life. I’ve known women who speak to the checkout person in the supermarket better, with more care, consideration and thoughtfulness, than they speak to themselves internally!

So, balancing….how are you doing?  Would you share a tip or two that keep you on an even keel? Just offer them in the comments area below this blog entry.

To Your Success!
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Coach. Counselor. Catalyst.
…leading you to the life & livelihood that fulfills you & serves the life of the world

http://ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com
http://SoulWiseWays.com

If you’d like to send me an email directly, do so:  RS@SoulWiseWays.com

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