© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
www.SoulWiseWays.com

What is “a Christmas Day?”  I invite you to consider an addition to the view offered by the Christmas story, a view that can make every day Christmas for you.

Can you allow yourself to accept that the significance of Christmas is even the birth of Jesus? It can be so much more. It can be that the Christ was revealed. It is a wonderful time of love, respect and gratitude for Jesus’ birth as he had the courage to reveal to the world the secret of a holy consciousness that is always present. 

 As we read and hear the Christmas story every year, eventually it goes beyond our individual minds to the part of us that can be awakened.  Many men and women go through their entire lifetimes without this area of consciousness ever being awakened.  It is available to them always.

A Christmas Day is a day of renewed dedication to the nature of God and prayer. We can live with our intellectual understanding, practicing it until we experience our own Christmas morning, a morning of spiritual rebirth, a dawning in our consciousness of the nature of the Christ.

An influential teacher in my life, Joel Goldsmith, wrote:

“The birth of the Christ is your Christmas Day and mine. It is that particular moment in which there is something in the nature of an awakening or in the nature of an awareness in which you realize that something is now functioning of which you heretofore were unaware. It may only be in fleeting glimpses. It may be in a few individual experiences, but for all, the experience is the same. …

Realize within yourself the Christ, the Christmas Day. Let every day be a Christmas Day of realization, and then loose that Christ into the world and let It touch those who are prepared.”

I wish you the joy and wonder of a Christmas Day, this day and every day.

Much joy and many blessings,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
www.SoulWiseWays.com
www.Rhoberta.com

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©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
www.SoulWiseWays.com

Many of us were raised with the idea of God being somewhere outside of ourselves, a Being, an Entity, a Deity above and beyond us. Some see an anthropomorphic God pictured as a man with long silver hair, floating benevolently above on a cloud. Some adopt artist’s renderings such as Michaelangelo offered. All were beyond the individual.

Where is God to you?  If you are interested in the Bible, you will remember that it clearly tells us that “behold, the kingdom of God is within you’ in Luke 17.21.  What a huge shift it is for many to think that God is within and expressing through you. Everything changes.

Where is God to you?

Many blessings,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Psychologist. Consultant. Mentor. Catalyst.
Helping Businesses Prosper & People Flourish Since 1982
www.Rhoberta.com
www.SoulWiseWays.com
www.SpiritualLivingNetwork.com  – Join in. It’s free!

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© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Are you mistaking your schedule for your life?  If so, you’re not going to have much joy. When the end of your day…or the end of your life, for that matter…arrives, what do you look back on?  Does it bring you joy?  Better yet, did you bring any joy to anyone else?

Often the answer to the simple question of “How are you?” brings the answer:

“I’m so busy. I’m exhausted.”

That doesn’t seem like a recipe for joy to me. How about you? Yet, even if you don’t say that sentence at the end of your day, you may be thinking or feeling it.

Many people are mistaking their schedule for their life. Fitting in quiet time and reflective moments seems impossible. Time in nature to simply connect, feel the oneness with life, is whittled down to something like: let me walk the dog and get on with the more important things of the day. Even walking the dog gives you an opportunity to see beauty, connect with the cyclical nature of the seasons and life, to move your body and experience joy.  If it’s just what has to be done, it’s just the schedule and you’re missing out of Life.

Henry David Thoreau asked an essential question for reflection:

“It’s not enough to be busy, so are the ants. The question is, what are we busy about?”

What distinguishes us from the ants, in endless search of food, creating assembly lines that fill their days in our kitchens?  That’s the big question. 

Are you living your values, demonstrating your beliefs and choosing your activities wisely?  That would be living in SoulWise Ways. Or, are you mistaking your schedule for your life?

Many blessings,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Psychologist. Mentor. Catalyst.
Success Solutions for Life, Love & Livelihood
www.Rhoberta.com
www.SoulWiseWays.com

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©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
www.SoulWiseWays.com

Have you ever seen a person so caught up in their spiritual that they seem to be a little odd, a little tipped? That happens sometimes when a person cannot seem to live effectively in the world, meeting his or her human responsibilities while retaining that inner area of consciousness open to spiritual impuluse. They seem to unable to maintain the spiritual balance of living in the world without being swept up in the world. 

So, it’s a question for us to consider:  to what extent can we stay in the marketplace, surrounded by competition, struggle, strife and jealousy that sometimes characterizes business or work, and yet maintain an awareness of that Power and Presence that is unknown to the material world?

That take spiritual balance: the ability to maintain both your spiritual awareness and be effective in the world without veering to one side or the other, blending the two into one harmonious whole.  To do this, we cannot give our whole day over to worldly pursuits, but neither do we give our whole day to meditation.  Yes, we meditation frequently for a minute or two to maintain an awareness of the Presence and our best direction.  Then, we go out and live this awareness by meeting the daily challenges and opportunities the world provides. It is possible to be “in the world but not of the world” as it says in the Bible. And, it requires spiritual balance.

The mystical way is one of intense inner stilness in the midst of incredible outer activity. It calls for a nonattachment to ther things and persons of the world. Not the kind, though, that creates that “crackpot” way of being in the world! Not floating in a vacuum with no base on which to rest. Some attachment is necessary, and it is found only in the Spiritu within which becomes our anchor.  Knowing that we are inseparable and divisibile from Spirit, we can be less and less atttached to the constantly shifting changing picture of the human world.

It is not a good idea for anyone to attempt to live beyond his or her attained state of consciousness. We know we are not at the stage of walking on water, so, we wisely take a boat! We cannot let our egos push us to try to walk on water. That is true folly.

Every difficulty we face is, in some ways, a matter of imbalance. If we begin our journey on the Path by remembering the importance of spiritual balance, keeping our perspective with the vision always before us, with our heads in the clouds and our feet firmly planted on the earth, we can keep our spiritual balance and achieve our goals.

Many blessings,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Psychologist. Mentor. Catalyst.
…providing you with success solutions for life, love & livelihood

www.Rhoberta.com

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©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
www.SoulWiseWays.com

I’ve learned that any focus on “getting” is a mistake.

In the last few years, many folks were brought to the awareness that their focus and thoughts make a huge difference in the outcomes in their lives. Unfortunately, films like The Secret (which wasn’t one)  make it seem like a magic bullet. You want. You focus. You get. That may seem like quite the neat trick to those new to the process, and, it certainly can seem to work that way…for a while.

Soon after The Secret came out, a former coaching client of mine gave me a mournful call.

“We watched The Secret. We read the book. We did everything it said and we got great results. We were able to sell our house in a down-turning economy and get a great deal on a new home in a much more upscale neighborhood. We didn’t think we could qualify and yet, we did. Now nothing is working. What are we doing wrong?”

Before I tell you my response, let me share something important with you: it is who you are and how you are in the world that counts in the big picture. It’s not what you are “getting.”  It is your relationship with God that makes all the difference. If you are simply trying to use a thought-system, the change in you will work for you for a little while. If you want a life that works, you have to do the work to change your consciousness…and, you have to maintain that change moment-by-moment.  

My response to my client, a woman I had come to know absolutely prizes and measures her success by her possessions was:

“I’m delighted for you that you have experienced what changing your perspective and practices can do for you.  What are your current spiritual practices?  Now, I don’t want to hear about your affirmation rituals. I want to know about your spiritual practices. What do you now do differently in relationship to God as well was in relationship to people, circumstances and conditions in your life?”

She had no answer. She did nothing different except focus on what she wanted to buy more of, visualized it and believed she would simply draw it to her. That is NOT a spiritual practice.

When we are faced with the appearance of any discord, inharmony, pain, lack or limitation and we are tempted to make a mental effort to indulge in vigorous thought-taking, affirmations and denials in order to achieve the peace or supply we want, it is a good step. But here is a radical thought that stems from a commitment to remembering that you and God are One:

Whenever there is an appearance of discord, you can simply relax.  You don’t have to make any mental effort if you know and believe that your good does not come to you by force or mental power. It comes from the very gentle Spirit.  It doesn’t come from striving, by making big efforts, by engaging in vigorous positive thought or affirmation. It comes from the depths of your being, in the stillness, in quietness, and in confidence.

You are never separated from God and God can only do for you what God can do through you. So, give.  That’s your job. God will take care of the rest. I know this.

SoulWise Blessings,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Psychologist. Mentor.
Catalyst to creating the life, love & livelihood that fulfills you & serves the life of the world.
www.SoulWiseWays.com
www.SpiritualLivingNetwork.com

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©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
www.SoulWiseWays.com

What is an even balance?  And, is it achievable?  Big questions. I think we are always balancing rather than actually achieving balance for very many minutes…or seconds. That said, though, coming to that state of balance, equilibrium and joy is the important concept. How long we can sustain it is up to us!

Fear is the climate in which most folks live today.  Even when they do achieve some sense of balance– joy, love, safety, understanding, peace, joy, they then become fearful of losing it. Snap! It’s gone.  That feeling of contentment and security seems so elusive. Could it be because we look for it in the all the wrong places?

If we look for good outside ourselves and put our faith and trust in persons or things, we are on shaky ground already. If we are dependent on other people and material possessions, it is a false reliance that usually fails in the end. When we rely on what we can see and touch, we are likely going to find that sense of peace very infrequently. And, furthermore, if we think that momentary joy came from what we see and touch, we’ll waste our time trying to repeat the experience that way. Not so good, I’ve found.

This is worth thinking about: if we believe in the visible, the things we can see and touch, they are by nature limited. Then, we begin to be concerned about “getting our share” which leads us to scarcity thinking. If what we can grab is what is real, then we have a big problem. It has to be shared by all the people in the world, so, if I can get more, you have to have less. No wonder we have a fear problem!  And, think what this does to countries, too.

Our enduring values cannot be found in material things or in other people. We can only find enduring values in that which is beyond the visible, that which is already an integral part of our being, God within.

Surely there is something better than engaging in the everyday struggle and strife, and the multitude of conversations about it. That’s why we spent considerable time in our book, Soul Solitude: Taking Time for Our Souls to Catch Up, shedding some light on our culture’s addiction to drama. Just think of TV news and you’ll see it larger than life. We get pulled into the story, the struggle, the “ain’t it awfuls” in daily conversation. Where can that possible get us? Well, here’s a clue: it is summed up in my book, What You Pay Attention to Expands. It’s that simple.  Where you turn your attention and focus is where you will find more coming your way. If you don’t want that to be struggle, it’s a good idea to stop that conversation!

When we awaken to the Presence within, we begin to see that undue attention to the things of this world only add to our difficulties. I’m not suggesting that you stop taking care of daily life, of course. I’m simply suggesting that you change the focus to the outpouring from you rather than the desire to get from outside yourself.  It’s amazing how quickly your life changes when you are more concerned with what you can give than concerned about what you may or may not be getting. 

Counter-intuitive in an ego-centric culture?  Absolutely. But taking the step to focus on giving rather than figuring out how to get is a great first step on the path to creating an even balance.  I know, because I’ve taken it, and taken it, and taken it. It takes moment-to-moment consciousness of where I want my mind to be stayed. So, I have to recommit to the journey repeatedly. Sometimes, it is sustained and I know what true peace and joy are. Trust me, it’s worth the attention!

To your joy, peace and recognition of abundance in your life,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Psychologist. Mentor. Catalyst.
….leading you to the life, love & livelihood that fulfills you and serves the life of the world
www.SoulWiseWays.com
www.Rhoberta.com

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©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
www.SoulWiseWays.com

When we were writing Soul Solitude: Taking Time for Our Souls to Catch Up,  I had to include my favorite question:

“For what might this be good?”

I call it “the magic question.”  It is simply the quickest shortcut from “Ain’t it awful?” to “Maybe I can do something with this?”  

When something happens that could quickly take you down a rabbit hole, you can immediately shortcut that journey by asking “the magic question.” You’ve shifted your attention from why it is potentially disastrous to a broader perspective, acknowledging the bigger picture. 

I don’t know about you but I know that I will never be up high enough to see the Grand Plan. What I do believe is that all is working itself out in the highest and best way for all concerned, even when, to my limited vision, it appears otherwise.  Hence, the power of “the magic question!”

Is it possible that I need to throw away my rose-colored glasses?  Certainly. Anything is possible. BUT, if I had a hundred dollars for every time I’ve heard someone say this of an event that, at the time, they thought was a tragedy and nearly the end of the world, I’d be an even richer woman:

“You know, it turned out to be the best thing that could have happened! Couldn’t see it at the time, but that’s the truth.”

We are just not up high enough to see all the whole picture. We see only our circumstances and conditions. And, believe me, I know that they are not the truth! We are so much more than our circumstances and conditions, yet, many folks react to them as if they were a)real and b)ours. Neither is true. It is simply our limited vision at the moment that leads us to think they are real and ours.

We can help keep our “eyes on the prize”, our focus on the larger Life, by using that simple question as early as we can in response to anything happening in our world:

“For what might this be good?”

Many blessings, much joy and great love,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Psychologist. Mentor. Catalyst.
….leading you to create the life, love & livelihood that fulfills you and serves the life of the world
www.SoulWiseWays.com
www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com
www.SpiritualLivingNetwork.com

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©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

We call people “spiritual seekers” and many are looking for God in all the wrong places…in my opinion. (Of course, I can only share my thoughts and conclusions about this after fifty years of walking the spiritual path through amazing experiences and beside still waters, and they are just mine.)  

Why do I think folks are looking in all the wrong places?  Because they are looking for God outside of themselves.  You know there is an old story about sages arguing about where to hide the truth, each with his own idea.  Finally once suggested hiding it inside people.  When asked why he thought that was best, his reply was:

“Because they will never think to look there!”

God is within me, expressing in, as, around and through me and I know that to be true. Believe me, I’ve had ample opportunity to figure that out! As a young mom, I made my way alone with three children, a fulltime job, little child support and parents who espoused that infamous phrase,

“You made your bed. Now, lie in it!”

As I sat down with a pile of bills much higher than the pile of dollars each month, I would feel myself slipping into the “ain’t it awfuls” and have to remind myself–maybe even talk out loud very strongly to myself to get my attention–that God is, in fact, expressing through me and only I can stop the flow! And, oh, I had such supposedly rational ways to stop that flow.

What if you could wrap your head around the idea that God is within you, made you as the Bible says “in his image and likeness,” and you could live from that idea? God has poured everything out for you long before you went looking for it. Could you accept that?  Or, do you prefer fear, limitation, and struggle?

Believe me, I know it is not always easy to stay in that flow. I’m an expert at finding justifications for making plans and making things happen.  Foolish me. Truly, when I remember that God lives as me, then all is “added unto me.”  It’s when I get my knickers in a knot, thinking I have to MAKE it happen, that anxiety, anger, frustration and fear take over.

Fortunately, after all these years, I’m quicker at remembering and getting back in the flow that has sustained and maintained me with manna all these years. 

How about you?  How do you get yourself back into the flow?

Many blessings,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Psychologist. Mentor. Coach. Catalyst.
…leading you to the life, love & livelihood that fulfills you and serves the life of the world
www.SoulWiseWays.com
www.Rhoberta.com
Enjoy free social networking for spiritually-minded people at www.SpiritualLivingNetwork.com

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©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
www.SoulWiseWays.com

It would be folly to think that we can go about in life doing anything we please. Many have learned that the hard way as the twig has been bent first one way, then the other. My mother’s generation seemed most concerned with

“What will other people think?”

My grandson’s generation has an entitlement mentality: 

“The world owes me big time.”  

This turned my mother into a chronic worrier, stifling her desires, ambitions and talents to keep other people from potentially making judgments that would upset her, and my grandson into a teenager with an underlying anger at the world. Unfortunately, my mother retained her position and spent most of her time making other people wrong. Fortunately, my wonderful grandson got out in the world and found that he was the one who was going to have to make his way.  I’m so proud of him as he has grasped the realities of sustaining himself in the world without letting go of his precious sense of self. 

I recently had a mentoring client who came to the weekly call upset. He said that he had just had an encounter with a colleague that angered him to the point of yelling, swearing and throwing the fellow out of his office.  To his chagrin, I said,

“So, you are a CEO who yells, swears and throws people out of your office.” 

He then became somewhat upset with me as he explained that his behavior was simply a response to the outrageous behavior of his VP.  He was clear that this fellow had overstepped all boundaries and had clearly no understanding of appropriate behavior. So, my client justified his behavior, and I said:

“So, you are a CEO who yells, swears and throws people out of your office.” 

Again, he patiently tried to explain to me that he had never yelled, sworn or thrown anyone out of his office before, therefore, this was a special case. He plead his case that it was all about the VP and had nothing to do with him.  He was simply reacting–or, he preferred to think it was responding–to this unseemly, inappropriate behavior.

Slowly I did my best to lead him to see that his choice of behavior was entirely his and the proddings of the VP had really nothing to do with his response.  If he were the person he believed himself to be: kind, fair, encouraging and empowering, he had the strength and clarity to choose to respond to the VP from that place. Trying to justify his reaction by placing the power in the hands of the VP is simply crooked thinking!

There is no escape: who you are is what you do. That’s why it is so important to take the time–as I do with my mentees–to reflect, to discuss and to clarify who you are. Then, you will do what that person, the one you have defined, does. Then, you will not give away your power and allow others to “make” you do things that are outside of your values and your decisions about your life.

In my opinion, there is no escape: I am what I do in every situation.  How about you? Are you willing to take that stand?

Many blessings, great joy and much love to you,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, Phd
Psychologist. Mentor. Coach. Catalyst.
…leading you to the life, love & livelihood that fulfills you and serves the life of the world.
www.SoulWiseWays.com
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© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

We have all heard the directive to “love your neighbor as yourself.”  It occurs in some paraphrase in each of the ten major spiritual traditions and religions of the world.  So, there must be something to it, right?

So, what is this kind of love?  Love in the spiritual sense is not something far-off and removed from us. It isn’t anything that can come to us. It is already a part of who we are, already well-established within us.  AND, it is universal and impersonal.  This wonderful love can pour out from us in abundance because we have a never-ending supply.

Now, that might seem contradictory to the evidence in your reality.  What about those people who seem to complain about everything and everybody?  Where’s that never-ending pouring of love through them?  Just because it’s available doesn’t mean folks avail themselves of it.  The electricity is always just waiting at the switch for you to turn it on, but some folks just like to sit in the dark.  Enough said. 

Where does all this wonder, light and joy come from? In my opinion–and, that’s all I can offer you here after fifty years of study and practice, our receptivity to the understanding that God is Love, and God and man are one, leads me to the evitable conclusion that there is no way to love God without some of that love flowing out to our neighbor…all the time.  It’s flow!

Who are our neighbors?  Just the folks next door, in the next room or in the next town?  I think it’s important for each of us to think this through.  It sounds simple, but is it?  Is it literal, or, is there more?

So, who is this neighbor?  This may be a bit much to take in, but, I’m going to suggest that anything of which we can become aware is our neighbor, no matter whether it is a person, animal, place, or thing.  One of my favorite writers, Joel S. Goldsmith, wrote:

“Every idea in consciousness is a neighbor. …When we see God as the cause and our neighbor as that which is in and of God, then we are loving our neighbor, whether that neighbor appears as a friend, relative, enemy, animal, flower or stone. In such loving, which understands all neighbors to be of God,…we find that every idea in consciousness takes its rightful place. Those neighbors who are a part of our experience find their way to us and those who are not are removed. Let us resolve loving our neighbor into a spiritual activity, beholding love as the substance of all that is, no matter what the form may be.”   Practicing the Presence, p. 66

The good news about these ideas is that each of us now can simply be loving, no matter what the experience, conditions or circumstances. We do not have to think about it. We simply choose to be loving in all cases.

When I wrote Wrestling Rhinos: Conquering Conflict in the Wilds of Work, I did so because skills of communication, conflict and anger management and negotiation are essential to peace and productivity.  The same is true in the home and family, in fact, everywhere.  We find “our neighbors” everywhere, too.  Sometimes it is tough to be grateful for the many opportunities we get in a day–or a family–to choose to be loving.  That’s why I made it my mission when I created the Optimize Institute to teach people to communicate in ways that are totally kind and totally honest at the same time.  Doing that is loving.

I invite you to reflect on the neighbors in your life and how you can express love in your interactions.  I’m going to pet my dog, Mystery, for a bit…because I love him.

Great joy, much love & the recognition of the abundance that surrounds you always.
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Psychologist. Mentor. Catalyst. Coach.
…leading you to the life, love & livehood that fulfills you & serves the life of the world
www.SoulWiseWays.com
http://rhoberta.com

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